I was having a hard time deciding what this blog would be about. I thought about telling you why there were 14 police officers in the front yard, this time last year. Because Christmas is just around the corner I was going to write about why I encouraged my children to believe in Santa. I even thought about telling you how last Christmas was the worst Christmas of my life. None of my thoughts could come together around those topics. I even asked other people what I should talk about. I got nothing.
I needed to quiet my mind, but I kept asking myself, "What are you waiting for? What are you doing with what you've been given?" It was a figurative and literal question. I had my topic.
I. Am. A. Procrastinator! I don't necessarily think that is a bad thing. I tend to do my best work when I have limited time. But in the past few months I have realized there is a fine line between procrastinating and avoiding.
As mentioned before, fear has been a huge driving factor for why I have not done a lot of what I wanted to do, but I also think some of it was just plain avoidance. The definition of avoidance is the action of keeping away from or not doing something. For years I have actively avoided living the life I wanted to live. Again fear was a part of it, but I also felt I needed approval from other people. By not getting that I feel like I missed out on opportunities. Well, let me rephrase that, I got approval, but it was more of what someone else thought my life should be. My actions and ideas were always questioned, which at times led me to believe what I wanted was trivial.
There were moments I attempted to do some things that I thought would be beneficial, but at the same time, I had been shut down so many times that I didn't think what I was doing would be that great of an impact.
We can be our own worst enemy.
It wasn't until late last year that I said, "No more! I want to be free!" It wasn't until this year that I said, "I'm not going to be afraid anymore!"
It took two years to start this business and website. It took a total of 16 years to publish my first children's book, "Your Hair is a Wonder" icanwalkonwater.net/shop. Whyyyy???
Taking my time, doing the research, and getting the finances in order played a role, but it shouldn't have taken that long.
I was avoiding who I was supposed to be, what I was supposed to do. But I tell you God has a way of bringing things back to you. It took my daughter wanting to publish her book "What Do You See?", to get me to do what I should've done years ago.
We are quickly approaching a new year. Some of you may have already made your resolutions and goals for 2023. My question to you and myself is, "What are we waiting for?" What have we been waiting to try? What have we been waiting to say? Who have we been waiting to see? Where do we want to go?
Stop waiting! Do the thing you've been waiting to do!!
If the finances aren't in order, that's okay, get prepared for when they are. Make the phone call. Send the text. Take the class. Say, "I love you." Seek out counseling. Write the book. Plan the trip. Even if you just write the business plan, it's a start. STOP AVOIDING!
I don't regret anything I've experienced. Each person, each situation has gotten me to this point. God has given me another chance to get some things right. If I have the means and the desire to do, to go, to speak, etc., I'm going to do it. We don't have the ability to create time. We can choose how to use it. I don't want to waste the time I have left. I'm not waiting for a new calendar year to make changes. I'm walking on my water right now, and I hope you will too!
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