To Cry, or Not to Cry

"What are you crying for? Aww, don't cry. You better save those tears. You're so dramatic! That's nothing to cry about. You're so emotional. Crying ain't gone change nothing." These are some phrases I've heard and often used when it comes to shedding tears.

Ever since I can remember I have been labeled "emotional". I used to believe something was wrong with me if I cried. Sometimes I was laughed at when I would cry. Other times the person I was communicating with would just stare at me. I was even told it was off putting and ruined the moment (not sure if that was supposed to make me feel any better 🥺). As a result I have felt that I needed to hide my emotions. I have often saved my crying sessions for when I'm alone. While that's okay sometimes, hiding who I am from people (especially those I'm close to) to make them comfortable isn't okay.

I recently tried to have a conversation and got teary eyed. I felt embarrassed because of the person's response. What I wanted to say didn't come out clearly, I got flustered, and felt intimidated. Why was my crying frowned upon? 🤔

I know people that have needed, but not wanted a hug because it would make them cry. There have been times when my friends and I have apologized for crying in front of each other. When asked why we felt the need to apologize, crying was thought to be a weakness. We have said we were only crying because we were "soooo mad", knowing the real reason was because our feelings were really hurt. I have held back from having much needed conversations because I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to seem like an emotional basket case. My question is, when did crying become a sign of weakness?

Crying is not a sign of weakness. We enter this world crying. It is a form of communication, expression, and release that we don't really outgrow, or do we? Should we? As I stated above, I have been guilty of telling people to stop crying. That was wrong and unfair of me. My words, while it may not have been my intention, sent the message that what they were feeling wasn't valid; what they felt was silly and not important. I knew that feeling all too well.

With therapy, and the blessing of getting older, I understand the importance of crying. I'm not crazy, or mentally unstable. I'm not being overly emotional if I cry from time to time. Sometimes I just need to "let it out" and it comes in the form of water discharging from my eyeballs 😭. I no longer want to hide who I am. If people around me can't handle this form of expression, that's okay.

Some people do outgrow crying and handle situations in a different way. That's okay too. The message I want to spread today is embrace who you are, and don't allow anyone to make you feel like your feelings don't matter. On the other side of that, don't invalidate a person's feelings because that's not your method of coping.

While I don't cry that often, it is what makes me me, and I'm going to continue walking on-shedding that water whenever necessary.

I would like to know how you view crying. Please leave comments below.

*Sidenote: Being emotional is more than crying. It means feeling all the feelings: happiness, excitement, sadness, fear, grief, anger, etc. Whether you're a crier or not, find a safe way to deal with your emotions. If at any time your emotions become uncontrollable, please seek help by contacting https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline.