I came across a post that read, "There is no way I could have kid(s) and say I'm lonely, I'm bored, no one loves me..." The writer of the post named multiple activities they would do with their children if they had them, and went on to say how children are positive mood changers.
I agreed with the post. Children, in my opinion, are God's good treasure. They are both brutally honest and innocent at the same time. Children are caring, and love unconditionally. They are extremely funny and no two days are ever the same. If allowed, children are great educators; they show us how to enjoy and laugh at the tiny things, to be creative, to ask questions, and to live in the moment. While I understand what the publisher was saying, I could definitely relate to feeling lonely while having children.
The person who made the post didn't intend to offend single parents wanting to be in a relationship, but I've heard similar statements to what the writer said: I needed to focus on raising my children and to not "worry about being with a man." That was followed up with, "There is more to life than sex." Statements like that would irritate me because it wasn't about not raising my children, focusing on a man, or being sexual. It was and has been about experiencing and sharing a special kinda love; the kind of love my children, family, and friends aren't supposed to give me.
I have enjoyed the time and journey raising my children, but there have been many days and nights I longed for someone other than them. This type of loneliness was sparked from not having a supportive, affectionate, like-minded (just to name a few) man that wanted to communicate, protect, and love me and my children.
Because I didn't follow scripture when it came to having my children, some may think that "that's the price to pay". Another post I read stated something to the effect of "women give the best of themselves to toxic men, then want a good man once they're (the woman) damaged". To that I ask, "Am I not human? Should I not be allowed to experience intimacy and companionship because I was a little foolish? Does having children really make me damaged?"
I believe I'm deserving. I also believe that being "lonely, with children" isn't a permanent title. I didn't (and still don't) always make the best choices, but that doesn't mean I'll spend my years alone. I was created to share my love. If you can relate to this, I want you to believe that too. I don't believe we were created to do life alone. And that should give us the hope and strength to keep walking on this water until that time comes.
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