It's All About JAM!

Life Snippet

It is what it is

In a couple of weeks I'll be celebrating my son's 15th birthday...Sheesh!!

I'm always saying too much, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't. When I first found out I was pregnant I was NOT going to keep this baby. I had an 8 month old, and was planning to leave the relationship I was in https://www.icanwalkonwater.net/post/why-i-stayed. It was my sister who convinced me not to terminate the pregnancy. I wasn't thrilled, but whatever.

Fast forward to when I went for my ultrasound. When the tech told me I was having a boy, I cried. I wanted another girl. I couldn't afford to buy more stuff, and I wanted my oldest to have a sister. There was nothing I could do about it though.

As time went on, I tried to get excited, but there was just so much going on. This pregnancy was the total opposite from the first. I couldn't eat certain foods. If I laughed too hard I would get sick. And I cried about EVERYTHING! I had to keep moving forward, tis life.

Unlike my oldest, this poor baby didn't even have a name. That was actually the theme of the baby shower, "Help Name the Baby." There were some really good suggestions, but I didn't like any of them. I wanted to be excited, but I just couldn't get it together.

There is always a turning point

I remember going to church the following Sunday and his name was ever so lightly whispered in my ear. As soon as I got home I looked up the meaning to his first name, the Lord exalts, is what I read. I cried.

A few weeks later I had him on a cold snowy Sunday morning. When I held him my first thought was, "How could I not have wanted this precious little baby?" He looked like a wrinkly old man, but I was in love!!

I'm going to stop here for now. I'll share more about his life and our adventures later.

Photo credit to I Can Walk on Water Publishing, LLC

I decided to share this snippet because my life hasn't always been what I thought it should be. However, there have been pockets of joy and sweet blessings, my son is just one example.

As mentioned above, I have been loving my baby boy for almost 15 years!! He gives me a reason to laugh and cry. He drives me crazy some days (I do the same to him), but life would be boring if he didn't. He is everything I never knew I needed.

His life has taught me about hope and promises. He has matured me all while I have nurtured him. Everyday has not been full of sunshine and rainbows, but his existence has given me the ability to walk on my water.